You seem really vunerable which in most cases should be applauded but with a NARC you're like raw meat to a hungry tiger. People need to understand that these relationships turn your nervous system into shambles and generate addictive chemicals that are torture to withdraw from. In order to do it you have to go no contact (aka cold turkey) and accept the fact that it's going to be hell until you reregulate. Find a good therapist who is familar with codependency, childhood trauma etc. and crack your inner code. Best of luck.