There are many times when I play the victim card, but at the end of the day, if I had been a healthier, more connected and self confident woman, I would have never tolerated the abuse. I was not fully financially dependent on this person and we did not have children together, I could have left at anytime. The hardest thing about severing with the narcissist is doing the inner work it requires to move on. Many of us feel damaged, but thinking of ourselves as victims can often keep us stuck.