The process of letting go requires action, and this action is the foundation of steps 4 to 12. The resentments, old beliefs and pain must be identified. Next, we identify our part in it, we acknowledge our wrongdoings and we apologize. We identify the old beliefs that drove our actions, and forgive ourselves. If we were harmed as children, we acknowledge that the harmer was in all likelihood a very sick person, it wasn't about us really, and we can hopefully replace our pain with compassion and understanding. This is how we let go.